When Guilt Bites

Do you often unexpectedly remember things you said or did in the past that make you want to smack yourself or cringe?

It seems like an everyday thing for me. One moment I’ll be whistling a tune (in my mind of course), and the next I’ll have stubbed my metaphorical toe on something that catches me completely off guard. It could be an object, it could be a word (for me it’s words more often than not), or a person's name – something that triggers your inner time machine and send you back to a moment you saw that object or heard that one word – and all those stored feelings come tumbling back out of the cabinet.

It’s not so easy to forget things. Actually, scratch that. It’s impossible to completely forget things. We’ll always one moment think we’ve moved on from the past, only to find ourselves reliving it the next – usually for what seems to us the dumbest reasons. Remembering is just too easy.

I’d wonder if it just means we aren’t supposed to forget. Then I’d wonder what it is I have to do to get rid of the pain, and only frustrate myself thinking of solutions. I don’t think I could go around and talk things out with every person or group of people I’ve ever found myself at odds with or felt stupid around. Chances are with some it wouldn’t do much good anyway.

So what do we do with all this guilt?

It’s true that sometimes being honest with ourselves or putting things into words shows us we were really embarrassed for nothing. Even if our actions were “not kosher” or “uncool” in the eyes of some, our intentions were what mattered, and if they were pure there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

However it’s the times we know we were actually in the wrong that really bite. When the image of the people we imagined ourselves to be shatters to reveal replays of ugly behavior we’ve displayed, the spirit quickly sinks 20,000 leagues under. That’s when we spit out words like “just kill me” or “let me die”, or simply use our own skulls as punching bags.

I’m not gonna tell you to throw the guilt away because you’re only imagining you were in the wrong. Some like to repaint their stories and make themselves out to be the innocent victims every time. I’ve done it before – but I always found that when I was truly honest with myself, I couldn’t exempt myself from guiltiness entirely if at all.

A lie doesn’t really free you – it blinds your eyes. And while a blindfolded man may be as free as one with sight, his navigational abilities are more limited. Glossing over the details and reinterpreting the situation in your favor will only have you blundering around in the dark. And you will feel taller than you actually are, setting you up for a bigger fall when your stilts get tangled.

Where do you go then? What do we do when face-to-face with the grim truth?

My first feeling is that I deserve punishment. I have no right to live. The world would be better off without me.

Then I remember Who I’m really accountable to. I remember He loves me even if the entire human race (including me) would brand me a traitor and a villain and demand I pay. He paid that price for me, and has already forgiven everything. He’s had a plan for me since before my life even began. Where some may see a piece of living trash, He sees a beloved child. I’ll probably make more mistakes in the future and get lost in more woods, but I know He’ll guide me back home every time.

All the scornful eyes, all the judgment and branding cast on you – it will only backfire on its owners. Because those who can’t forgive won’t be forgiven.

To have someone who loves you that much, someone whose opinion is the only one that matters, who will never give up on you, who will always be there for you, who can never be separated from you even by death, who will forgive you no matter how terrible you think you are – that to me is the cure for guilt,

Because every time I remember Jesus Christ, I feel my regret and guilt washed away.

Song of the Heart

Why does the tune of the heart change so uncontrollably?

One moment a lullaby, the next moment a roar,

One moment a dirge, the next moment a jig,

Now a hymn, now an outcry, now a laugh, now a growl.

Why, O Heart, do you confuse me so?

God, fill me with love, so it will shine through no matter the tune.

When the things I hold dear begin to crumble, empower me to stay true,

And to embody love every moment, even if it would disappear from the world around me.

The Trunk, the Limb, and the Branches

Once upon a time there was a tree from which grew a single limb. The trunk and the limb loved each other greatly, and together shared the happiest existence they could ask for.

Then from the limb grew many smaller branches, who were welcomed joyfully into the family. While the branches were happy for a while, however, soon they grew discontented with being part of the tree, and broke themselves off.

In the dirt below they tried to plant themselves as their own trees, but because they had no roots they could not stay upright. They withered, unable to sustain themselves with enough water and sunlight, and animals came and chewed on them, further damaging them.

At this point many of the broken branches began calling out for help from the tree. So the trunk and the limb immediately determined to get them back. However the limb was too high above the ground to reach them.

Then the trunk came up with a plan, and told the branch what they were going to do, but it was going to be painful. The branch asked if there was any other way, but they both knew the answer, and braced themselves for the operation.

With a tremendous snap, the trunk broke the limb at the base, leaving it only barely attached. A burst of excruciating pain shook the entire tree. However the limb was now able to bend down all the way to the ground, where it could reach all the broken branches.

So all the branches that wished to return were gathered up, and fused with the limb once more, including many other sticks that wished to share their home. Then the trunk pulled the limb back up and healed its broken base, making it strong once again.

Thus the branches, the limb, and the trunk were restored to their former state, sharing blissful togetherness with one another, and they lived happily ever after.

You Are Conquerors

I wouldn’t have chosen it. At the time I felt confused, feeling something was terribly wrong, convinced it was unfair. “Why is this happening to me?” This question constantly plagued my heart, fueling my anger, stoking my frustration, crushing me with despair.

Looking back on it, though, that’s when I wonder –

Would I have been the same person I am today if it never happened?

We all long for Eden. We all desire peace – peace of mind, peace of body, peace of soul. None of us knowingly choose the path of hardship and trial. We all want to be happy, to have everything go our way, to keep what’s precious to us safely guarded. Why wouldn’t we?

Yet if we never new what it was to lack, to feel robbed, to experience pain – could we ever fully appreciate what true Heaven has to offer?

If everything went just how we wanted from start to finish, we would never know struggle – and we would never know just how deep and sweet relief is. If we never had to fight for anything, how could we be satisfied with what we earned? If we never lost anything, how could we fully appreciate what we have? So many things we take for granted, and their value in our minds dwindles. Yet only someone who has lost everything can appreciate the gift of everything, which God has promised his children. Only if we have known what it feels like to be lost and alone can we experience the joy of being found, being loved, belonging.

I think those with the deepest wounds are the ones who will experience Heaven to the fullest, whose joy will be the greatest.

But if you chose the path of hardship I’d think there was something wrong with you. No suffering at the time is ever enjoyable, can ever be appreciated, much less be seen as something to thank God for. It’s never pretty, it’s never fun.

Yet looking back on my own hardships I will always thank God for them. Why? Because thanks to them I won’t have lived all my life surrounded by pillows and fluff, with everything I wanted delivered to me on a silver platter.

Instead I will have become a fighter – a warrior – a conqueror. A person I don’t have to be ashamed of. The person I always wished I could be.

In the future I know I will struggle. I will most certainly go through more times when I want to yell, hit things, and shake my fist at God, asking him why, with all my anger, sadness, and pain poured into my words and actions.

But on the day I cross to the other side, and enter the gates of paradise, I won’t enter as one who always had it easy. I will enter as a winner. And when I look back on the earthly life I lived, with all its struggles and hardships, I will take a deep breath, and say, “Thank you God, for all the suffering I went through, allowing me to take part in Christ’s suffering, that I may follow after him and share in his glory among the ranks of fellow Christian heroes.”

Until the end of our hardships, then, we have to endure.

The suffering is not because we are losing the battle. It is the battle – and in God’s grace we will always make it through.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life the Lord has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12)

What is your biggest reality?

I know of course for reality to be what it is, there can only be one – but everyone has their own perspective of it, our knowledge of it is limited to what we have discovered, disagreements arise from uncertainty about things we thought we knew. On top of this, many perspectives compete to occupy the position of truth in our minds. It can drive us crazy, even make us panic. In the end, we often decide simply to stick with what we know – to believe our biggest reality, the one which in our eyes is the largest, to which all other realities must give precedence – whether we love it, or merely resign to it.

What is your biggest reality?

It could be something as big as a national or religious view, it could be small like the simple things in life we enjoy. It could be a place, a person, a thing. It could be an activity you have devoted your life to, in which you find meaning and validation. It could be whatever makes you happy, or whatever gives you the thrills you seek. It could be a harsh truth that you have come to accept is just part of existence. All examples aside, every individual comes to the conclusion eventually that for them one truth at least outshines all the rest – even the conclusion there is no truth except what you're feeling at any given time.

What do you do with the smaller realities?

You subjugate them to the biggest. If you fail to you are forced to make modifications to your views, or stick to the hope that there is an answer you have just not uncovered yet, which could be the case sometimes, though not always.

What is my biggest reality?

It was a conclusion I had wanted to reach in the past, and did hold to, but still with some doubts and anxieties, even misgivings. The size of my competing realities flickered, like multiple balloons slowly deflating, with one pump switching between them. After many years, however, the conviction that Jesus rose from the dead became the largest, overarching all others.

It was not the first largest though. The first largest was not a positive, but a negative. While many people seemed to be okay with goofing off and enjoying life while ignoring or accepting the fact that death would sooner or later end them, I couldn't swallow that.

Therefore instead of embracing the reality that was directly in front of me, though I was tempted to more than once out of despair, I sought after the echoes of the voice that called out to me from the ancient past. Others had done the same, and undergone astounding changes in their beliefs – but I had always been afraid they were just dumb or had missed something.

Their conclusions, however, made sense to me, and since no one can say with certainty that such a thing is impossible, since we can't disprove God's existence and therefore the possibility of him bringing about a miracle that deviated from the normal conventions of the natural world, I was open to accepting their explanation, to my eyes the only sensible one, of the historical events composing this earth-shattering anomaly. The sources I refer to are various and many, but I think this article sums up the case very well.

So what of the personal feelings?

There are many who want to believe in a compassionate God, but when they read about the acts of judgment the God of the Old Testament was responsible for, such as the conquest of Canaan, they conclude this is not the one they should accept. They then mistakenly assume that all who believe in him are either bloodthirsty monsters or nice people who are just blinded by narrow-minded dogmatism. Not so. While some of the things God commanded in the Old Testament make me uncomfortable, it doesn't shake my faith as a Christian, because my biggest reality is Jesus, who loved sinners like us and gave up his life on our account to restore us to God's grace when we didn't deserve it, and who rose from the dead, showing the world that the grave isn't the end.

Does that mean I ignore the Old Testament, or pretend the parts I don't like aren't really there? No. I simply choose to believe what the writers of the New Testament did – that God knows what he is doing and we as humans aren't meant to know the exact reason for all his choices. Here is what I do know – God never punishes the innocent (see Ezekiel 18). Neither does he break his promises, for better or worse (speaking in our terms). If he has said he will forgive the sinner, he will. If the sinner doesn't want forgiveness, he won't.

I don't have to worry that God's love will disappear from my life if I'm not good enough, because he will only take it away if I reject him. In the case of the Canaanites, it was not so much that God had abandoned them as that they had abandoned God. What had grown intrinsic to them was a deep, incurable wickedness, one which – for all we know – might have become part of their very DNA. How can we know for sure? Only God knows. He is, however, a God I trust. He has earned that from me. Not that God owes me anything, but by his actions he has shown himself to be as trustworthy as he claims.

When you realize Jesus loves you, you know what matters most.

Would reading about the conquest of Canaan open the door to creating a dangerous and violent version of Christianity? Only among those who don't really know Jesus, who haven't heard his words and refuse the path of peace as he did – even though his existence spelled doom and conflict for those who hated him, not by brute power but by humility and truth, and a warning of the coming judgment by God, not by man, for sinners who rejected forgiveness. Anyone who knows Jesus knows that it is the peacemakers who will be called Sons of God, not the violent.

What is your biggest reality? Is it big enough? Only you can answer that.

A prank worth the sacrifice?

Twelve men and more put their lives on the line.

Twelve men and more received violence and torture.

Twelve men and more endured hunger and fatigue.

Twelve men and more shivered behind bars as they sang.

Ten men and more were cruelly killed.

Every last one knew this fate was most likely.

So why would they do this just to play a hoax?

They could have said no. Turned their backs on the cause.

Recanted their belief, gained relief from their pain.

They might have scammed a multitude, led the foolish on by lies,

Perhaps become famous, built an empire on their fictions,

Bowing down to Caesar, dedicating a religion to him,

A palace of their own, daily tea with the Emperor.

Instead they gave up everything, well-being and life itself,

All to proclaim what they claimed to have witnessed –

That a man who'd been killed,

Who had a spear run through his heart,

Who was mummified, sealed in a tomb,

This man was alive again.

How, they said?

By nothing short of what the man had claimed –

That he was God in human form,

That the power of God had resurrected him,

And that every power on earth lay beneath him, even Caesar,

For he had power over Death itself,

And he would one day judge the world for all its crimes,

Which if not sought forgiveness for, and freedom from in Him,

Would bring the offender to condemnation.

Twelve men and more risked their lives for a task,

Twelve men and more gave up everything,

Because to them none of it mattered.

It would be gone when they were gone.

But God's kingdom is forever,

And they believed they would share in Jesus' resurrection,

Themselves becoming forever as he is.

What convinced twelve men and more to think this way?

Could it have been what they claimed was true?

No One is Weak

Strength is praised. Strength is honored. Strength is respected. Strength is loved.

Those who have it are idolized and worshiped. What is it? It could be physical strength, it could be smarts and ingenuity, or a raw determination driving one relentlessly onward in spite of setbacks.

But what of those who have none of these?

They are obviously the losers. The idiots. The flawed and imperfect. Those who didn't make enough of the right choices. Those who just couldn't be winners even when they tried. Those who have no place in the world. Because success belongs only to the best.

Weakness is despised. Weakness is scorned. Weakness is mocked. Weakness is even hated.

Weakness is pushed around, scapegoated, looked down on, shunned. To some, it's the biggest crime there ever was. No one wants it around. No one wants to be it either. But there it is, all around us and within us.

The world presents to us this twisted choice – force yourself above your circumstances, or just end your life. Because those without the will to press on deserve death, I suppose.

But there is another choice.

Either you can join the throngs in their rat race for power and control – or you can enter the narrow path of love and peace.

The beast inside us screams for justice. It can't take humiliation, it can't take being falsely accused, or misjudged. Above all, it can't admit its own weaknesses. But when the beast is let loose, and you fight tooth and claw for your own dignity, you lose what dignity you had. If the beast loses the fight you are humiliated tenfold. If the beast wins the fight you become nothing more than the monster you believed your accusers to be, feeding the endless cycle of crushing and being crushed. When the beast is loosed, someone will always have to suffer.

Leave it be. Let the proud destroy themselves, as they will sooner or later. Suffer the humiliation, admit to yourself your own shortcomings. Then recall the words of Jesus,

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God,”

“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

Jesus, we are told by the apostle Paul, was 'beset with weakness.' He grew weary at times, he was overcome often by emotion, and we are even told he was tempted. Weakness in the Bible is portrayed as human limitations, such as sickness or physical challenges, and temptation is the pull to give in to forces that would overcome you, such as tiredness or pleasing distractions.

“See not that you fall into temptation,” he told his drowsy disciples when they were supposed to keep watch. “For the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Yet while Jesus never gave in to temptation, he still suffered from human weakness, being fully human even as he was fully God. The difference between his and ours, however, is that he chose it. He chose to give up his Godly power and dignity. He chose to put himself at the mercy of his enemies. He let them falsely accuse him and sentence him to death. He let them nail him to a cross. He accepted death, and gave up his spirit. He rendered himself helpless – and in doing so conquered not Rome, but Death itself, rising from the dead at the last.

What does this show us about the truth of strength? That it is a gift both given and taken by God, to be used in his name rather than in the name of self-conceit, because he created us and is master of Life and Death.

What does this show us about weakness? That we must accept the challenges God has thrown our way, and remember that if we don't lose heart, we will reap in due season (Galatians 6:9). That for those who endure, God has prepared the crown of life (James 1:12). Because those who praise strength more than they praise God will someday die and disappear, but God will always exist.

So what do we do in the meantime?

Remember that everyone has been given gifts, that there exists not Strength, but strengths, in all forms and in any area, because we are a diverse and complimentary community.

Romans 12:6-8: “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.”

Don't believe anyone who tells you you're weak. Even if we can't do what someone else can, we all have our own strengths, even if you or they can't see it at the moment. As Jesus commanded, be kind to your enemies, and serve them out of love, not in fear and without resentment. Without fear, because while man can harm and kill the body, God can throw both the soul and the body into hell. Without resentment, because it's the sick who need a physician, not the healthy. Those who don't know the power of love need someone to show it to them.

You don't know where your own strength lies? Seek and you will find. Pray about it, and remember you're a human being made in God's image.

Your own strength is in you, just waiting to be realized.

Love's Ultimate Test

The reality of evil is a contradiction to the belief in a God who is both sovereign and good.

Or so people say.

But there is another dilemma.

If God is not both good and all-powerful, true justice can never be realized.

Why is that?

Because if good is not all-powerful, evil might win.

How can a good but limited God save us if the Devil gets the upper hand?

How can a good but limited God protect us when the demons slip past the angel defenses and drag helpless people down to their hellish holds?

How can a good but limited God ensure that at the end of all things evil will fall and goodness will shine into eternity?

How can a good but limited God heal all wounds?

He can't. Because the evil is just as strong as he is.

Perhaps in the end, if we're not lucky, cruelty and violence and sadism will win, and darkness and despair will reign after all.

And why not, since whether you serve goodness or evil it's all up to whichever side you feel like? Someone who feeds the children, or someone who mutilates them – just pick the style that thrills you.

But if good is all-powerful, evil beware. Do as you please for now, but you are destined to burn in the fires of righteous fury.

Evil may reign for a time, but ultimately can never win.

Where are the innocents who were taken from us? They are in paradise with God.

Where will all our pain go? One day we will shed it like an old garment and forget it in our eternal joy.

Where is all our guilt and regret? It is nailed to the Cross.

Then the question remains. Why has God allowed evil to reign over our world?

Because only in a world where love seems distant and foolish can it truly prove its depths and power.

Only the once abandoned can know the joy of being found.

Only the wounded can know the value of being whole.

Only if God let us wander and sink to a place of unimaginable darkness and denial could he show us how much he loved us in coming to our help.

He knew it would be painful for us.

But what we don't imagine is how painful it must be to him, if he loves us so much, to see us suffer.

It is a journey God knew that he and the human race must take together, in order for their relationship to be what it was meant to be.

The God of the Bible is not distant and cold. He is a God who weeps for his children, who burns at betrayal, who laughs at his enemies, who charges in with fury when those he loves are in trouble.

He is a God who came down and became like us, so he could suffer as we might suffer, so he could be punished for us even though he had done nothing wrong, in order to redeem us who have done wrong, because he loved us still the same.

Could this have happened if evil had never existed? But only because it exists can we come to experience just how great is God's love for us.

Are you in pain or in tears? God is there with you, hurting and weeping at your side.

Is he powerful enough to change things in a flash? Yes he is. But he chose not to help us this way, but to allow pain to enter into our lives and our hearts as well as his own heart, in order that our love may grow deeper and fuller and richer than it ever could had he fixed everything to begin with.

Are you mad at God for not sparing a loved one from an untimely death? For not fixing your life? For not taking away your hurt and frustration?

Or do you love him for suffering with and even for us? For loving us even when it seems no one else should? For standing with us even when we turn our backs on him?

Hate can only consume you, eat up your soul, and send you to your death.

Only by choosing love can life start anew.

Only by choosing trust can peace truly be gained.

Do we have enough reason to trust? In Jesus we have more than enough.

Linking up with #ThoughtProvokingThursday

Bleeding Soul

Spears pierce my mind, and my soul bleeds.

We are told we can do anything if we set our minds to it. Believe in yourself and you can accomplish the impossible.

But the walls of my prison are rock-solid. They cannot be broken no matter how much I pound and push - and they are closing in.

Some people are born with strength. They press on through life, fall, but get up again and keep going. I have no such power. My arms shrivel, my heart grows weak.

Confidence is dangerous for me. A little more, and I hurt myself.

My heart calls – my mind does not respond. My brain beckons – my body does not heed. I face the future with determination – but can barely take one step.

Daggers pierce my mind, my soul bleeds.

We are taught to stand up for what we believe. Our beliefs are a part of us. But I am knocked down before I can even rise, again and again. And every time a bloated ego marches triumphant from the site of my defeat.

Perhaps it was only defense. Perhaps they were aware of my own fangs, and that was why they sawed them off. I can't blame them. Perhaps this was for the best.

But knowing this doesn't ease the pain, and the scars throb until they numb.

I never wanted to see them writhe. I never wanted to drive them into the dirt. I just wanted them to see.

Perhaps I was confused. But my feelings were real. It's the tragedy of any argument that one must always walk away the loser – though both sides may be right about some things while wrong about others.

But the greatest tragedy of all is that some hearts may never be reconciled. They reach for one another, but a black void lies between – a rift in reality, a crack in the continuum, forever open, never to be sewed back together.

I want to believe it can be bridged. I want to believe that if I can let my talents sing, swelling in a great symphony at the top of the world for all the universe to hear, that one day you would feel the joy I felt, humming along with the tune that so moved me. And maybe I could understand you better.

But it may be my fate only to find myself one day languishing on my face, with the time and the strength only to etch the words “I wish” in the dirt before I succumb to my final sleep. Such is the way the cards could fall.

Thorns pierce my mind, my soul bleeds.

I cry out to God. He doesn't listen. “Why have you forsaken me?”

Was it because my sins were too bad? Perhaps I just can't be forgiven, perhaps I have crucified Christ one too many times.

Do I have to believe that just yet? Perhaps "it is no longer I who do it, but sin dwelling in me."

“Your God will not answer, because he does not exist,” you say. But I will not comply with your pessimism, your sick excuse for hedonism and self-worship. I know where my hope lies, and as long as I live I'll trust in that hope.

I don't know what's to be my end. Perhaps my dreams are too incompatible with the ways of Jesus. Perhaps my views are too idealistic to stand up to the scrutiny of true Biblical faith.

But I will keep waiting, praying, listening, looking – and maybe some day my dead soul will rediscover life, and the spears, daggers and thorns will stop.

And I will fly once again.

The Dark Truth and the Radiant Truth

wallpaperswide.com

It's nothing new to say that the world we live in is messed up – but that's the problem.

We wish or perhaps even dare to believe that life could be a fairy tale for anyone if they just have the right perspective – but every day the truth grows less and less flexible, and with every perspective added it takes form piece by piece into exactly the hard, cold, unfeeling lump of rock we first took it to be.

The truth is not always pretty.

The arts and the media reflect the current feelings of the human race. They abound with sorrow, superficiality, anger, elusive portrayals of justice, and pride going hand-in-hand with hollow egos. Some have merely resigned to the darkness and embraced it, deciding to milk what fun they can out of life in spite of its horrors before resigning themselves to fate. Perhaps it's all they believe they can do.

What manner of world is it? A place where broken families are the norm, disease and pain are commonplace, relationships are fun but short, where the weak always fall prey to the stronger or smarter with or without morals, and violence and killing happen somewhere every day. The damage is mountainous and often irreparable. Under it all we sense something is very wrong. Deep within us we hear a voice that is often stifled but is ever constant, which finds its way into our wording, “This is not the way it's supposed to be.”

No, this is not the way it's supposed to be.

Even though we are told to shut up, accept it, and make the best of it, we are still left with that cold feeling. What we do to amuse ourselves, all that we indulge in to drown our sorrows, it minimizes the pain but it never heals. Beneath it all we want that peace. We want to find the light that shines in the darkness – but the only light we find is a will-o-the-wisp, gone even as we reach for it.

I won't accept it. I will not resign myself to the notion that the darkness is all there really is. And you know something? I don't have to.

Nothing I believe can change the harsh realities – but with Jesus in the picture, I can make sense of them.

What was it that drove them?

What was it that made the early Christians sing and find joy in spite of imprisonment and torture? 

What caused them to hold to the name of Jesus even to the point of painful death?

It was hope.

Not a blind hope, not wishful thinking – but the conviction that Jesus rose from the dead, conquering death, showing that life was not as lost a cause as the world seemed to think, not with him. In him they found an eternal family. With him they saw justice, and also forgiveness. To him the wicked and the oppressor would ultimately answer for their crimes. In his light, the darkness of the world seemed like merely a shadow before dawn – it became the superficial thing, having lost all its power to control and convince them, for it was doomed to disappear, to be replaced by a new heaven and earth – a world no longer messed up, but where everything will be made right again.

Is broken the way our world is supposed to be? No. Does it have the final say? Not on your life. In the light of Jesus, its threats become empty. It can inflict pain and take away our comfort, but it can never command us again. It is dead.

The life in Christ is the only reality now that matters.

Many have claimed to find peace and happiness through one means or another – but only Jesus went through the ultimate sorrow and torture, crossed to the other side, then came back to show us that he is indeed life itself, giving us assurance beyond doubt that it could be found. Darkness, struggle, and death are ever present in this world – but for those who believe, it's lost its sting. We have been freed.

all-free-download.com

A Foolish Faith?

Why do I so strongly want God to be real?

Because without God we would be alone. With only our limited power. At the mercy of greater human powers and the elements. With no hope beyond death.

bestwallpaperhd.com

The atheist is free from God. Free to do anything he wants. But he is also vulnerable. Vulnerable to the merciless quirks of a universe governed by chance. His success lasts no longer than his luck – and when it runs out his paradise crumbles. Death is ultimately his final sentence.

But why the God of the Bible? Why Jehovah and Jesus? Why would I accept Jehovah's seemingly harsh nature in the Old Testament even if it makes me uncomfortable? Why would I accept what Jesus teaches about Hell?

Because of their mercy and long-suffering. Jehovah gave his people protection and prosperity. Jesus taught us to love our enemies and be good to those who hate us. Divine judgment is only for those who will never accept Jehovah as God and Jesus as his son even after they come to know them, because they prefer their fantasies. Mercy is for the humble heart that knows it is sinful, that it is creation and not Creator, and whose deepest desire is for redemption and transformation.

Why would I think the accounts in the Bible any less legendary in nature than Greek or Chinese or Norse mythology?

The sincerity of the authors? The authenticity of the Apostles' letters albeit the bizarre claims therein? The admission by their enemies and the unbelievers of Jesus' existence despite their skepticism of his claims? The testimony of writers who claimed to be eyewitnesses and companions of Jesus, well within an area they knew it could be verified? The closeness of the testimony to the time of the events they talk about? The witness of those who followed after them in the following centuries and millenniums even unto death?

If so, could miracles really happen? Could Jesus truly have worked wonders and rose from the dead, even if people who heard it were skeptical, and even if we do not see such things happen today? I would not rule out the possibility.

The world of skyscrapers and iPhones insists the answer is no. If we lived in a world where such tech did not exist, however, perhaps our perspective would change. Technological advancements change nothing concerning God's existence – we have only fooled ourselves into thinking so.

imagebase.net

Finally, as an independent testimony should not the Biblical documents be understood on their own terms rather than doctored up and re-interpreted to fit one consensus or another? Should not God be allowed his own voice no matter how radical or politically incorrect? Perhaps if we would let the radical nature and politically-incorrectness in, we would understand something about ourselves and the world we never could before.

Perhaps, as the Bible claims, we would understand how much better it is to be slaves of Christ than kings of this world. Because God's slaves are better off than royalty by the world's standards, and have a treasure far greater than any rich man could hope for. The treasure Jesus brought when he gave up his rights, when he emptied himself and made himself nothing, taking on the form of a servant, making the ultimate sacrifice, which in the end caused him to be exalted above every other name.

Greedy for Goodness

It's not wrong to want to be a good person. For some reason though, we tell ourselves it is. It's not wrong to desire life. For some reason though, we tell ourselves it's selfish. All we have really done is denied something crucial to our very existence.

It is wrong to pat yourself on the back and become conceited from a small deed, but does that mean it's right to deny yourself the pleasure that comes with doing good? We should of course help people because we feel their pain and cry their tears, not for keeping up a good appearance. However when we do things to help people, there comes this feeling – as if there is a voice inside us saying 'this is good' and 'this is what I was made to do.' It a feeling of deep fulfillment. It is perfectly natural, and we do ourselves an injustice when we suppress it.

Why shouldn't we feel happy about doing what is right? Yet sometimes we neglect to do what is right because we don't want to risk feeling too prideful in that feeling, and the good we could have done never happens – all because of a far bigger pride. I have no doubt when I say Satan has conducted this clever scheme to keep the good we might bring to the world locked away.

Suppress that lie. Be the hero you've always wanted to be.

There is also another lie, and it is one Christians sometimes fall for. In the past I frequently have asked myself the question, “Do I really love God, or do I just love the things he gives me?” I knew Jesus died for us, and bought us eternal life, but I wasn't sure whether I really loved him, or only what his sacrifice granted us.

But why do we give gifts? Why is there so much joy in both the giving and the getting at Christmas time, for example?

Because a gift, given with a sincere heart, is a special thing.

It's a way of saying “I love you.”

Imagine what it would be like if someone received a present, observed it – and threw it out the window, saying, “I shouldn't accept your gift because I don't want to be greedy.”

Imagine the hurt in the giver's heart. Their act of love was deliberately rejected, and not in a heart of actual humility. It was, in fact, the rejection of a heart swelled with pride that eclipses that of the more honest kind of arrogance.

While it is possible for someone to love the gift and not the giver, the danger of false humility should not be overlooked. We should not respond to God's gifts this way. Jesus suffered and shed his blood, gave us the gift of eternal life, an “I love you” message that reverberates throughout history – and we ought not to say we're not good enough to accept it. How can that be right?

As the apostle wrote, we love him because he first loved us, and Jesus' sacrifice showed us just how much he did. He was willing to take our punishment. He was willing to suffer what we should have suffered.

It is not wrong for the receiver of a gift to be endeared toward the giver. The giving and getting of gifts is a love language. Don't say, “I am not worthy of salvation because I want it too much.” God created us to desire life. He wants us to find joy in the life he gives us – because, like a loving father with his child, our joy is his joy. Our happy smiles make him smile.

I realized I do love God. He reached out to me when I was lonely. He gave me a gift greater than any I could have wished for. He became a constant father, brother, friend. My life is in his hands, his love for me will never die, and in that knowledge I can have peace that no matter where I am headed he is with me, guiding my steps and forgiving my mistakes.

Is it wrong to love him for what he has done for me? No.

It would be wrong not to.

This Phenomenon We Live In

downloadswallpapers.com

The World.

It spins energetically, it thrives, it thinks, it hurts.

But we don't notice.

It laughs, it cries, it jests, it questions.

But we don't notice.

Why is it here? Why does it ponder, play, and feel?

We don't care. We are too busy.

What keeps our attention?

What are we after that keeps us from pondering our existence?

We don't know. All we know is we want it and are going to get it no matter what.

It is a struggle – a race against time, a war against space.

It is only I, my enemies, and my goals. I know of nothing else.

Are we not blinding ourselves?

Is it so ridiculous to think we are each part of a greater story,

A story much broader than our private realities dared allow?

Perhaps it's time to stop lying to ourselves,

Perhaps it's time to embrace the existence we keep running from,

And be what we were created to be,

More than hungry beasts,

More than indifferent apes,

But children of the God whose image we bear,

Creations of the Creator who brought about this phenomenon,

This mysterious, wondrous phenomenon we call Planet Earth.

jesus-photos-pictures.blogspot.com

Dust and the Divine

Many prefer to shelve their past like an old volume – fondly to be remembered on occasion, but for the most part leaving it a dust-catcher. Perhaps there are things about it that are painful. Perhaps we dislike what it shows us about ourselves. Perhaps it feels like a weight holding us down and burdening us. But for whatever reason, in pursuit of our new selves we tend to cut off ourselves from anything predating the present, feeling it is for the best.

flickr.com

The reason we are in search of ourselves, however, is that we think we have no self – at least not much of one to speak of. We feel empty, and so we hope to find ourselves elsewhere.

What we miss, though, is that every person has their own story – and this is what makes every human unique. It is to some degree what's within us, but it's also our experiences. Our story is what is within us responding to what is beyond us, and vice versa in a kind of dance, over a period of time that started with our birth.

We are searching for ourselves, and we look everywhere but the mirror. Perhaps we should treat our pasts as foundations for the future, rather than live in denial of them.

Are you ashamed of it? Then let forgiveness and redemption be your focus. Was it painful? Then let the quest for healing drive you. Was it encumbering? Then your story is about seeking relief from your burden.

Of course you may have heard all this before, and possibly came to this conclusion a long time ago and still are in search. Don't mistake what I am saying, though. I'm not saying follow the winds wherever they take you. I'm saying let the past in. Let it out of the reservoir you confined it to, and allow it to mingle with the rest of the river. Let the past be as much a part of you as the present. Living in denial of it can't do you any good. Only by looking at your life as a whole can you truly be whole.

The past, of course, is passive. It happened already, but the present is happening now. It is what it is, and we are what we are – still aching for fulfillment, for an answer. Accepting the past is one step, but what is the next step?

Personally I have found my wholeness in Jesus. I know I am incomplete, weak, in need of forgiveness, in need of a guide, in need of healing, in need of boundless love. But he is the answer to all of that. He is the God who fills the eternal gap in my world. He is strength even when I am powerless. He made the great sacrifice so I could be forgiven everything. He is wisdom incarnate, directing my life when I can't see my path. He is the great healer. He gives love even when I'm a stubborn and thoughtless idiot.

freefoto.com

Without him my life – my past and my being – becomes meaningless, a hopeless drama ending in bitterness. In him, however, I see the missing piece to this great puzzle. With him it all begins to make sense. All of the rotten things in my past – they happened so God could show me how much he loves me in covering my weaknesses. All the amazing things in my past – he takes them and makes them infinitely more meaningful, renewing them and sometimes introducing a new spin.

My past won't gather dust on the shelf. It will remain part of me as a testament to God's goodness and greatness no matter where I go. I don't have to keeping searching for my self. I simply have to acknowledge it. I am who God made me and is making me. In this I find true fulfillment and joy.

A New Kind of Me

I have decided I'm going to do what everyone says you should do.

And I am going to be myself.

I am a Christian.

I'm going to stop pretending, and start being me.

Who am I?

A Bible-believing, Faith-holding, God-loving, Jesus-preaching Christian.

Don't like who I am? I'm sorry to hear that.

I will not judge you. But neither will I keep the Judge's warning to myself.

I won't impose my faith on anyone. But neither will I be afraid to share it.

I will not tell you what to do. But neither will I turn my back on injustice.

I will not tell you who to be. But neither will I deny who I am.

I will not act overbearing or pretend to be better. But neither will I cower in the dark.

I will apologize for my failures. I will not apologize for my convictions.

What are your charges?

Do you think all Christians are self-righteous, racist, misogynist, bigoted brutes?

Do you purposely promote stories about inquisitors

And turn a blind eye to the ministry of missionaries?

History is littered with acts of good and evil both done in Jesus' name.

But Jesus, who taught us to love even our enemies,

To do unto others as we would have them do to us –

Can you hold him responsible for those who did the opposite in his name?

Can the self-righteous judgments of man, who sees little,

Be blamed on the righteous judgment of God

Who perceives the core of every being?

You can mock me.

You can say I will never live up to God's standard, so I should give up.

You are half right.

I am not perfect.

I will continue to do damage to myself and to others with my actions and words

Because I'm such a rotten sinner.

But I believe in the power of forgiveness.

I know we are broken, fallen, beset with weaknesses.

But I believe we will one day be perfect.

Because I believe in the promises of God.

I believe in the redeeming power of Jesus, who took the punishment we justly deserved,

And bore our pain for us,

Because he loves us.

This is the new kind of Me,

A new kind of Me which follows an old faith,

An ancient faith,

A trust in the one who laid the foundations of the world,

Who gave us our beings,

Who gave us life, and will continue to give life to those who will accept it,

Who believe in the resurrection of Christ.

We are Christians.

This is who we are, and this is what we believe.

God is our Father.

Jesus is our Lord,

And we are his people.

What Could I Have Missed?

Few things can deaden your pace more than a recurring problem. When you thought you had figured something out, imagining you put the nail in its coffin, and yet it still comes back to burden you. You ride on winds of an epiphany one day, and the very next find yourself in the spiritual doldrums as if nothing happened. How can you go on, fearing that you will never find your way out of this dark forest?

hdwallpaperscool.com

On paper you may be able to pin a complex mathematical issue in minutes. But for some things, even if all the facts line up, even if you can see the result in numbers, you find you still just don't get it. Experience and logic can hammer the same message into you time and again. But still, in the face of new or returning issues, it can still fail to make complete sense to you. What, you ask, do I have to learn that I haven't already? Why am I still so confused?

Sometimes we can accept things in our minds, but our hearts simply do not follow. At this point, it may be we have to wait for the movement of something beyond ourselves. Perhaps this is what it means to need the help of the Holy Spirit.

Psalm 127:1

“Unless the Lord builds the house,

they who build it labor in vain.”

It is hard to wait. When we are confused, in pain or spiritual turmoil, we want answers and we want them right away. We want to know now why this is still happening. We groan, we clench our fists, we pull our hair and grind our teeth, hoping that some miracle will come along to restore the sunlight to what has become our cavern of doubt.

Your first impulse may be to look for distractions. Perhaps if you divert your attention from the problem long enough, it will solve itself by the time you come back to it. And sometimes if you have to wait, it is good to find something you enjoy doing to lighten your spirit. But the distractions are not the cure to the pain. You may spend a day of procrastinating/recreating, and come tomorrow the tension will still be strong as ever. You can continue striving to amuse yourself, but you may find you are only making things worse and sinking gradually deeper into despair.

But what if prayer was your first impulse?

The mention of prayer may make us bristle at first. How do you know that if you pray things will magically get better? Usually, in fact, it doesn't. We ask God to make things better, but nothing happens. Why waste your time?

Prayer, however, has a different purpose.

It's not about putting in orders and expecting them to be filled. It is a reviving of that link between us and the One who shapes the course of our life. It reminds us of who is in control. It takes our focus off the apparent chaos before us, and draws it to the reality that transcends the circumstances.

We may tell ourselves we can have no peace until a solid, incontestable answer to the problem is revealed and clicks within us. But the answer we are looking for may look almost negligible if we compare it to the answer we have already received in Christ, a truth that can be found in simple, stereotypically trotted out verses such as “All things work together for good to those who love God.” Under such knowledge, we can rest in the realization that we don't always have to have an answer for everything right when we want it, because we know something else is going on beyond what we see.

It may be something we have to learn over and over before our heart fully accepts it. But we don't have to torture ourselves for our ignorance until then. Instead we can relinquish our confusion entirely to God, who bears the burden we were trying to shoulder, because he is the only one who can. This, I believe, is the real way to peace in times of uncertainty, a relief from anxiety and spiritual release. This was, and is, the ultimate unchanging answer.

Psalm 55:22

“Cast your burden on the Lord,

and he will sustain you.”